Petting Party

I’m writing this blog on my bus route home. The lovely D3. It takes absolutely fucking forever but it’s rather handy when I’ve bought one too many bottles of vintage Westons at Asda and I need a shortest walk possible from bus stop to front door. So, with my journey as lengthy as it can be, what’s a blogger to do when she can’t find a leftover copy of thelondonpaper or The London Lite…?
Why is there never an abandoned newspaper when you want one? A friend recently told me that the average newspaper used to be read by approximately 27 people before it was binned. Now I’d say it’s more like 5 (if you’re lucky) before those pesky cleaners and litter police get their hands on them.
Okay, so that makes me sound like a litterer- I’m not. In a weird way I’m kind of the opposite. I don’t like waste. I find it really frustrating when you’re at a station and there’s no papers left to read but you can see a bin full of them*. The paper might be read once, or skimmed by some pleb just looking at the big pictures on the celebrity gossip pages. That paper just isn’t fulfilling its purpose.
So this brings me rather neatly onto the porn aspect of my blog. And yes, before you ask, I can link ANY subject back to porn. So I had the rather gleeful privilege of seeing what I can only describe as “Dr. Who porn” the other day. It’s got geek-porn-goddess Harmony Hex and the heavily inked alt-porn model Holly D in it. The girls are dressed as sort of, erm, ‘newspaper porno monsters’ (now you see where I was going!) They’ve got big pointy hats that come down right over their faces with little eye-holes cut out, little newspaper dresses and giant long newspaper fingers. This gets promptly ripped off so that these two hot porno-babes can get down to some serious lesbo love-hole licking.
It’s not a heavily guarded secret in the industry that Harmony Hex is a MASSIVE Dr. Who fan. It’s actually the first thing listed under “television” on her Myspace page so you can probably imagine just how much she takes on this role with relish. As for Holly D she has so far talked quite favourably about it online and she certainly seems to enjoy lapping up Harmony’s love juices.
I love sci-fi and I can think of more than a handful of people (other than the staff of SFX magazine) who’d give anything to see some Dr. Who-esque porn. C’mon, sci-fi fans and Dr Who fans and, er, newspaper fans- you must unite and demand to see this surreal raunch-fest. Oh, and it helps if you like porn too!!

*I’m not so pikey as to rifle through the bin I’ll have you know!

***Images from Holly D’s Myspace and Harmony Hex’s Myspace***

Filed under: porn