Porn-o-likes
Y’know, it can be frustrating. You want to see a particular celebrity getting their end away on grainy digital video but dammit they just won’t release a sex tape. What absolute bastards for wanting to keep their sex lives private, huh? It’s okay though because there’s always a pornstar out there that can be made to vaguely resemble the object of your lust. I mean look how much James Deen almost looks like Zach Braff in the Scrubs porno…
One person whose life is ripe for the porno-pastiche is Lindsay Lohan. Thank god Hustler went and created ‘Hustler’s Untrue Hollywood Stories: Lindsay Lohan’, I was beginning to feel like my life was just not quite complete. Luckily, Lindsay’s sexuality has yo-yo’ed about the place meaning we can have plenty of boy/girl banging and girl/girl love-hole-licking and it’s all in the name of being factual! And Ron Jeremy is in it. That makes it worth the watch alone 
Let’s face facts, if Lindsay hadn’t been some child-superstar, she’d be perfect for porn. She’s proper wild and gets up to the kinda shit you only see at porno-parties. Labia-flashing, coke-sniffing, drunk-driving… oh no wait these things happen everywhere. Any bar toilet in London is full of people hoofing up lines, why should a porno-party be any different? Nah, there’s just something about Lindsay, something that makes you know she’s up for anything and manages to keep a lot of what she *does* get up to clear of the press.
God knows how she feels about her life being pornofied. But, if she can have a good laugh at the situation and herself, it may just help her flagging career.
Filed under: porn
She probably feels validated by aspects of her public life* being pornified … who wouldn’t ?
* public life as a ‘keep me in the headlines, make me appear relevant’ PR strategy.