Petting Party

Alcohol. Who’s not a fan? Sometimes though, casual drinking just isn’t enough and you feel the need to hark back to your student days and get absolutely fucking spangled. I’ve been to some pretty mental parties over the years and I’ve realised the one group of people who know how to get proper messy are ‘wreck-heads’. The type of people who are weekend vampires and don’t see Saturday or Sunday daylight (unless of course it’s summer, it’s 10am and they’re in London Fields clutching a can of Kronenberg).

However, if this level of partying is too much for you and you’d like to be so drunk you’ll pass out before the sun comes up, you might like to try one of these drunk-games!

• Shot Connect Four. Take this simple children’s game, add tequila and you have an instant way to get fuck-eyed. Follow the normal rules, but play at breakneck speed (no hesitation my friends) and do a shot of tequila every time you lose. The more you lose, the harder you’ll find it to play at these reckless speeds.
• Human Buckaroo. Normally this game wouldn’t involve alcohol intake but I reckon I’ve found a way round this. Okay, so for those not aware of the fun that can be had with human buckaroo, it’s just like normal buckaroo except you play with one passed out party-goer and ANY OBJECT TO HAND. The way to involve you imbibing la booze is to do a shot every time something you’ve placed on your victim falls off (or they wake up, but effectively that is the end of the game). Please note, this game can be altered to become Cat Buckaroo but can end violently.
• The Shoe Rule. I don’t know how regional this rule is but I had this drummed into me as a teenager in the West Country. If someone has passed out with their shoes on you have full permission to fuck with their prone, passed out self*. If however, they had the forethought to remove their shoes they’re not truly wasted. So this game is essentially a wild card but the buckaroo drinking rules apply.
• Weekend At Bernie’s. This is a game I invented some years back but sadly have never had the opportunity to try out. I’m sharing it now because I’d like someone to try it so I can see the results. If you haven’t ever seen the ’80s classic Weekend At Bernie’s (one of my favourite films) this will make no sense to you. So, whilst at a party, find your shoed, passed out victim. Find some hats, scarves, glasses, fancy dress shiznit, you get the gist right? Dress up your victim and then prop them up and take photos of you together AS IF THEY WERE AWAKE!! Geddit?

*Illegal activities are not condoned or advised during this game. I have seen someone draw a swastika on someone’s forehead in permanentt marker though…… If anyone has the picture I know exists of this *cough* James Tibble *cough* then send it me!!!

***Image from Weekend At Bernie’s. Seriously, watch this film***

Filed under: alcohol, night life