I’m in kinda a bad mood. Then, I saw the trailer for the new Muppets film Green With Envy (click [here] for Facebook Fanpage) and my heart was filled with joy for exactly 1 minute 32. Then I felt sad. So you know what I did? I bloody well watched it again. I am so so so excited about this. I’ve been excited about it ever since I bought Forgetting Sarah Marshall on a whim ‘cos it was cheap in Asda and I discovered Jason Segel’s ongoing relationship with The Jim Henson Company. Now I’ve had my first glimpse of it, I just honestly can’t wait. And I promise you, once you watch it too, you’ll be as excited as me. If this *doesn’t* fill your heart with joy then chances are you are dead inside.

***Image from WeAreMovieGeeks.com***

So I was lucky enough to get free tickets to TimeOut’s double-horror-bill Of Dracula and Theatre Of Blood last night. It began with Mark Gatiss and Robin Ince discussing their favourite horror films with the dude from TimeOut, which was quite cool but pretty much the only thing I took away from it is that I *need* to see is a film that features Nazis On Ice (it’s not actually called that- I can’t remember what it’s called cos they mostly just called it that- but yeh it totally deserves capitals, no?)

Dracula, of which I know there are many iterations, was something a bit spesh. We’re talking the 1958 Hammer Horror version starring Christopher Lee and Peter Cushing. Oh my, it was actual hilarity. John Van Eyssen as Jonathan Harker was rocking this oversized blue blazer with big pockets that I was crushing on hard (the blazer not him) but then he completely ruined the effect by mincing about Castle Dracula with one hand jammed in his trouser pocket, elbow all up at an awkward angle. Total I’m-A-Little-Teapot. As with a lot of Hammer’s output, a lot of the humour now comes from our modern-day-hindsight but I think even then it wasn’t much meant to be scary, just brilliantly campy. Check out all about it [here].

So double-bills are pretty hard going right? By the second flick your arse is sore and you’re feeling a bit sick from too much sweet popcorn and watery coke. Your knees are starting to click and your friend has fallen asleep. Actually, I based the title of this blog on the fact that my friend kept drifting off and then waking up to extreme close-ups of Vincent Price in full monologue-flow. You wouldn’t know what was dream and what was reality if that happened to you, would you? What’s up, what’s down? Anyway, Theatre Of Blood is a fucking glorious film and that’s not even yet mentioning Diana Rigg in a fake mustache. I spent the duration of this film (that I wasn’t shifting about in discomfort) sat on the edge of my seat, mouth fixed in a state of utter glee. Vincent Price is THE BOY. This film is GENIUS. Check out why.

So, some of you may know I’ve taken part in SFX Magazine’s Couch Potato a few times. Well, we actually did a Hammer Horror one. So I’ve dug it out and scanned it in for you. Please please bear in mind, this was about four years ago and I basically look like a dick. In both pictures. Big thanks to Steve O’Brien for inviting me along. Click [here] for page one and [here] for page two.
***EDIT: I’ve just remembered that page two contains my immortal line that my friends want to get put on my epitaph “Isn’t it weird how tits hung really differently in the ’70s.” Oh my god, no wonder no-one was surprised when I ended up working in porn.

***Image of Vincent Price taken from Theatre Of Blood***

Ta to my pal for winning the tickets. Girl you are Queen Of Win.

I found this paper animation thanks to a fabulous post over at io9 (click [here] to read) and totally fell in love with it. I adore animation as it is, but the crudely stylized paper in this is just something that extra bit magical. I’ve never seen gore, or samurais for that matter, done so cutely. Please watch this video, it is utterly amazing. And then go check out the animator’s other works over at his Vimeo page [here].

Path of Blood – Demon at the Crossroads of Destiny from Eric Power on Vimeo.

***Video and image by Eric Power***

This short film is one of the most magically scary and simultaneously wonderful things I’ve seen in a while. Sex Ed Done by Lovecraft?!? I mean, really?? How the film-makers got the parents of these kids to agree to let them perform is beyond me. There’s a high chance they’re going to turn out to be the coolest adults you’ll ever meet or mentally scarred for life. Bit of a gamble really.

However, it’s probably worth it as Late Bloomer is insane and brilliant and also delightful. Watch it now.

Click [here] for Northlake Films
Found [via] Topless Robot

WARNING: This blog may seem passionate and a probs a bit biased (y’know, if you happen to like shit Hollywood action flicks) but that’s because Akira is one of my favourite films and certainly my favourite comic.

Let’s ignore the fact that remaking Akira as a live-action film is largely pointless, because actually, there are much bigger issues at stake here. It’s all too easy to get caught up in tasting the bile in your mouth over the location change (Tokyo to New York), the age change (from teenagers to 30 somethings) and the race change (from Japanese to American) BUT BELIEVE ME IT ONLY GETS WORSE.

Awesome website Cracked.com recently published excerpts from what is purported to be the actual Akira script. And oh god is it atrocious. It’ll make you long for films starring The Rock or Jason Statham just to wash the dirt you feeling crawling over your skin. Here’s one teeny tiny bit (I can’t bear to post more, okay)

KANEDA

This isn’t you… Whatever is happening to you… You have the strength to stop it.

TETSUO

Do I? How would you know?

KANEDA

Because you’ve always had it. You just never knew…

Kaneda struggles with a confession –

KANEDA

Because I never let you. Let me help you now.

TETSUO

Help me now? I don’t need your help. I haven’t for a long time.

KANEDA

What are you talking about, Tetsuo? I’ve done everything for you. Like I promised.

TETSUO

Right. The promise. You’re a criminal. A thug. A gang leader. You’re everything except what I needed most… A brother!

The most amazing thing just landed in my inbox. It was AnOther Magazine’s newsletter, click [here] for their site, and normally I skim these things for occasional gems and today something caught my eye. Betty Page was a fascinating character of whom tons has been written about without me sticking my oar in. If you don’t know much about the most famous pin-up girl and original fetish model I suggest looking her up. She was a hottie, don’tcha know. Start with her wiki page [here] and see what you can dig up.

The story behind this rare Betty Page footage is equally as amazing as the footage itself. AnOther’s editor Ben Cobb discovered the reel underneath a pile of vintage postcards in a box in Portobello Market! And paid a tenner! What a wondorous find. Deff jeals. x

***Video via AnOther Magazine***

I came across this just now and was really struck by it. It’s from a Russian film called ‘Mirror’ by Andrei Tartovsky. I’m not familiar with his work but, in quite an obvious way, it really reminded me of some David Lynch short films I watched recently. Those in turn are heavily influenced by the surrealist films of Max Ernst and Luis Buñuel. It’s funny how much surrealism seeps into everything.

I found this YouTube clip on a blog called The Teenage Head after watching their short film ‘The Ghosts’. Check out their blog please by clicking [here], y’know, only after you’ve watched their short of course.

The GHOSTS from Eddie O'KEEFE on Vimeo.

P.S. Whilst we are on the subject of surrealism, I’ve been after a decent copy of an episode of BBC’s Arena from the late ’80s presented by Lynch. I think it’s called ‘Ruth Roses and Revolver’. If anyone can help me out or point me in the right direction I’d be eternally grateful. LOVE. x

I really don’t want to spoil anything about it as I knew very little before seeing it last night and the way in which the entire film was presented was an utter delight. And to be honest, part of the delight came from it being a total (lovely) surprise. I kind of want other people to experience that as well. Which is why I urge you to see it as soon as possible.
I appreciate this film probably isn’t for everyone. I, however, fell a bit in love with it. The director, Joann Sfar, based the film on his graphic novel of the same name and that’s very telling throughout, even down to the way all the shots have been framed. Many many shots feel like panels. Lucy Gordon, tragic backstory aside, is beautiful and…. actually now that I write that it sounds silly because ALL the women in this film are beautiful, but Gordon stands out with a wide-eyed, long-limbed English beauty that she’s the one you go home thinking about. The newspaper article I have linked to above is talking about Jane Birkin (whom Gordon plays) and states “The actress playing her needed to combine coltish sexuality and toughness” and watching Gainsbourg you can see that she totally embodies that spirit.

Go see this film. Now.

OMG. I could so handle it. Coffee and pro-plus spiked cherry pie would just about see you through. It’d be like watching it on drugs. The delirum would get to you so hard after a while not only would you think you were *in* the red room you’d so like totally think Donna Hayward was prettier than Audrey Horne.
Oh christ, imagine how freaky Leland would be on that level of sleep deprivation! Has anyone actually done this? If so please please share your stories. If not, join me and various other crazy people on October 23rd at the Battersea Arts Centre to see how much it will bend your mind. Tickets go on sale 1st September. Fingers crossed I get one!

***Image found on Google Image so if it belongs to you and you want me to remove let me know!***

Please please watch the YouTube clip and then go out and BUY In The Mood For Love because it is literally one of the most beautiful amazing films. DO IT!