Mine, Cheryl’s and Alice’s birthday party in Dalston last Friday was pretty awesome. The DJs and bands were excellent (big shout out to We Are Not A Rockband for kicking off with Yacht – Psychic City (Classixx Remix) and for basically playing loads of my favourite tunes) so massive thank yous and love yous to everyone involved in that side of things. The decor in The Victory was excellent- especially the larger-than-life-size posters of me, Alice and Cheryl! I later found mine ripped up, screwed up and covered in beer <sad face>. The after-party I went to/was thrown for me was suitably debauched. I spent most of it wearing a crown and behaving badly. Standard. Actually I also tried to rescue my poster but it has since been thrown away. From all accounts it was as trashed as I was- crumpled and beer soaked. An accurate representation of me come Saturday. Check out my little image gallery of some pictures I stole from friends. You can see mine and Cheryl’s posters in the first pic ^_^

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***Pictures courtesy of Cheryl May & Geeta Gill***

So me and my two friends Cheryl & Alice are having a sick joint birthday party this Friday with all of friends (and sibling in Cheryl’s case!) djing and performing… and somehow that parralell universe where we are all super-hip, popular and just that fucking cool has become reality as TimeOut have written about our party. No word of a lie. Click [here] to read.

The lineup is pretty awesome, with all my favourite boys turning in favours, from my pals The Dirty Toyz [here] to my fellow music bloggers We Are Not A Rockband [here] to the always excellent “forward thinking cunty bollocks” * of Potty Mouth Disco [here].
I just know I’m going to dance my arse off. It’s going to be FUCKING SICK.

Click [here] to see the social event of June!

* “cunty bollocks” quote courtesy of Ben Scales

***Image courtesy of Chaz John Ross***

And honoury mention to Miss Cheryl May Walker for this gem of a video…

This Friday is actually my birthday and I quite fancy playing another YouTube game on Twitter. I’m gonna make it a bit harder though. Tweet me John Hughes film soundtrack songs for my birthday please! You can follow me on Twitter [here].

I’ve been writing here there and everywhere lately and not had so much time for my own blog <aww sad face>. But here’s a handy link round up of all my posts elsewhere yay!

THOUGHT CATALOG: 5 Reasons Why Camden Sucks

WE ARE NOT A ROCKBAND: Robot(s) Rock (The Model feat My Favourite Robot – Still In My Heart music video)

WE ARE NOT A ROCKBAND: Tensnake Plays Trouble Vision

THOUGHT CATALOG: Dos And Don’ts Of Dating In Shoreditch

WE ARE NOT A ROCKBAND: Blah Blah Blah (Das Glow mix)

WE ARE NOT A ROCKBAND: Bashmore Remixes Classixx (Julio Bashmore remix)

WE ARE NOT A ROCKBAND: Serge Gainsbourg remixed by Feadz

WE ARE NOT A ROCKBAND: Benoit & Sergio – Let Me Count The Ways

Guys I’m sorry I’ve been slack with this blog. I’ve got some pretty awesome things I’m saving to write about on here though….. being an ’80s slutty zombie for a video nasty film within a film for one! Here’s a sneak peak of me zombified [here] to whet your appetite. Peace, guys, speak soon xxx

***Image of Thought Catalog logo***

Yes kids it’s that super-secret-shoreditch-warehouse-party time again! The Coolness are at it again, this time with the LP launch for Lost In A Disco at their night Club Cool this Friday night. Having proof-read the lyrics for the entire elbum, I can tell you exclusively that it’s all highly sexualised. Click [here] for The Coolness’s Facebook page. Other acts include my boys The Dirty Toyz who are worth the door price alone. You can check out their Facebook page [here].

Club Cool is always worth a bash, although admittedly I have *very* few memories of the last party, the Freddie Mercury one back in January. Which, from what I’ve heard of my behaviour, is probs for the best. Holy Rave back in December I do actually remember all of and it was AMAZING! Join the Club Cool group [here] to hear all about their parties before I blog about it.

Buy tickets to Friday nights party [here] before they all sell out and click attending on the Facebook event [here]!

***Image courtesy of Chaz Ross/The Coolness***

So I was lucky enough to get free tickets to TimeOut’s double-horror-bill Of Dracula and Theatre Of Blood last night. It began with Mark Gatiss and Robin Ince discussing their favourite horror films with the dude from TimeOut, which was quite cool but pretty much the only thing I took away from it is that I *need* to see is a film that features Nazis On Ice (it’s not actually called that- I can’t remember what it’s called cos they mostly just called it that- but yeh it totally deserves capitals, no?)

Dracula, of which I know there are many iterations, was something a bit spesh. We’re talking the 1958 Hammer Horror version starring Christopher Lee and Peter Cushing. Oh my, it was actual hilarity. John Van Eyssen as Jonathan Harker was rocking this oversized blue blazer with big pockets that I was crushing on hard (the blazer not him) but then he completely ruined the effect by mincing about Castle Dracula with one hand jammed in his trouser pocket, elbow all up at an awkward angle. Total I’m-A-Little-Teapot. As with a lot of Hammer’s output, a lot of the humour now comes from our modern-day-hindsight but I think even then it wasn’t much meant to be scary, just brilliantly campy. Check out all about it [here].

So double-bills are pretty hard going right? By the second flick your arse is sore and you’re feeling a bit sick from too much sweet popcorn and watery coke. Your knees are starting to click and your friend has fallen asleep. Actually, I based the title of this blog on the fact that my friend kept drifting off and then waking up to extreme close-ups of Vincent Price in full monologue-flow. You wouldn’t know what was dream and what was reality if that happened to you, would you? What’s up, what’s down? Anyway, Theatre Of Blood is a fucking glorious film and that’s not even yet mentioning Diana Rigg in a fake mustache. I spent the duration of this film (that I wasn’t shifting about in discomfort) sat on the edge of my seat, mouth fixed in a state of utter glee. Vincent Price is THE BOY. This film is GENIUS. Check out why.

So, some of you may know I’ve taken part in SFX Magazine’s Couch Potato a few times. Well, we actually did a Hammer Horror one. So I’ve dug it out and scanned it in for you. Please please bear in mind, this was about four years ago and I basically look like a dick. In both pictures. Big thanks to Steve O’Brien for inviting me along. Click [here] for page one and [here] for page two.
***EDIT: I’ve just remembered that page two contains my immortal line that my friends want to get put on my epitaph “Isn’t it weird how tits hung really differently in the ’70s.” Oh my god, no wonder no-one was surprised when I ended up working in porn.

***Image of Vincent Price taken from Theatre Of Blood***

Ta to my pal for winning the tickets. Girl you are Queen Of Win.

Thursday saw a trip to the Double R Club at Bethnal Green which I highly recommend if you’re a Twin Peaks fan. I went along with two of my fellow Lynch-Lock-In pals (click [here] for my previous blogpost about watching the entirety of Twin Peaks over the course of 32 hours straight) andf we had a smashing time. The burkha cabaret act called “Winners Of Baghdad’s Got Talent” was probs the one that sticks in my memory the most for sheer google-eyed giggly times. After this we went to a rave in a car park and then a house party. Fun times! Check out the Double R’s Facebook group [here].

Friday was Potty Mouth Disco which due to a venue change was a tad on the empty side. Actually the quietest I’ve ever seen it. Which sadly meant they shut the second room really early. Gessafelstein also wasn’t able to make it which meant that Thomas Von Party (aka Tiga’s little brother) played a 4 hour set. IT WAS AMAZING. He played so many songs that I really wish I knew the name of. I highly recommend checking him out. Click [here] for Potty Mouth Disco’s Facebook group. The after-party I attended was extra-excellent full and of awesome people playing amazing songs to each other. Intense but good.

And Saturday night was much of the same.

Sunday was the week’s second trip to the hipster hang-out of choice, London Fields for a friends leaving bbq. Awesome awesome awesome time.

Normally after a weekend of this magnitude I go through my phone and a whole batch of ridiculously awful and blurry and embarrassing photos I have to delete but this time I just have notes saved with song names so I thought I’d share with you all a couple of choice picks.

Yacht- Psychic City (Classixx remix) – I absolutely love Yacht but I’d never heard this song before and this remix is just out of this world good.

Class Actress- Journal Of Ardency – I heard this song ages ago and fell in love with it but sadly forgot about it. I’d been trying to remember it at the last few parties I’ve been at so I could play it to other people but I’d never quite be able to remember what it was called or who it was by. So so glad the name popped back into my mind the other night.

Julio Bashmore- Battle For Middle You – This Bashmore track got played more than a few times by quite a few different people, myself included. I recommend following him on Twitter actually as he’s pretty entertaining. Do so [here].

Siopis- I Try To Fight – We’d been listening to another Siopis track (Penny From The Lane, another track to check out) but it wasn’t until more people showed up that this basically went on repeat. I actually lost count of how many times we listened to it. It is *all* about when the vocals kick in at 3:53. Beautiful.

So, the nominees for Best Online Scene were picked based on what had LOADS of views and y’know, you can kinda see why….

Ben Dover’s Loose Women: Oh lordy, I mean how sexy is Tiffany Doll?! Plus, Ben Dover is a bloody ledge isn’t he. Watch the series [here].

Fantasies Of Rubber: Having met Paige Ashley at last year’s SHAFTAs I can vouch for her utter gorgeousness. And fuck me is does she look hot in that rubber dress! Watch the series [here].

Freddies Great British Granny Bang: You all love a tabloid scandal don’t you? I’m hoping it’s the car-crash factor that led you to watch Katie Waissel’s gran getting a seeing to. Watch the series [here].

The Swinging Scene: Not necessarily my cup of tea (just being honest innit) but it does go a long way to proving that British men LOVE the amateur scene. Watch the series [here].

Liselle Bailey’s This Porn Year: I have a cameo. It was an AMAZING party. Shay Hendrix gushed on the carpet. Nuff said. Watch the original This Porn Life series [here].

***Video clip courtesy of Televisionx.com***

So last weekend’s Club Cool is….. erm….. a blank spot in my mind. I’m sure it was excellent. Here are some things I know about it: I fell down some stairs, I tried to snog some of my friends, I definitely snogged some other of my friends, I sexually harrassed strangers *, I DEFINITELY made a total utter idiot of myself, I melted in front of a speaker to The Dirty Toyz and I was branded the most drunk girl in the place. Oh I’m a classy classy lady.

*please note the last three plurals of friends and strangers

Holy Rave on the other hand I was reasonably more coherent for. I hope you guys liked the above video. Check out Club Cool’s facebook group [here] and Neemo Photo [here] for excellent Club Cool party snaps.

***Holy Rave video courtesy of The Coolness***

It’s birthdayageddon this Friday in Shoreditch with at least 3 of my friends all celebrating their birthdays at this secret warehouse party. The theme is Freddie Mercury which is handy for most of the male residents of Shoreditch as they won’t need to draw on their mustache having spent the last year or two preparing their facial hair for a night like this. Say what you like about Shoreditch (many do and will) but it’s my home and y’know what I kinda like it here.Anyways, it’s Club Cool [facebook group] in one room and Brits Abroad [facebook group] in the other. It will be MEGA.

This night will a. be jokes b. be messy as fuck and c. be awesome thanks to my pals The Dirty Toyz who are playing. Check ‘em out [here]. C’mon kids, come help us all celebrate. Super cheapo £4 tickets available [here] yes yes yes.

***Image courtesy of Chaz John Ross//Club Cool***